What You DO Have Control Over: Reclaiming Your Power in a Stressful World
In a world where so much is uncertain, it’s easy to feel powerless. Deadlines pile up, unexpected challenges arise, and responsibilities stretch us thin. But while we can’t control everything, we can control how we navigate life’s chaos. By focusing on what is within our power, we can shift our mindset, build resilience, and improve our overall well-being.
Here’s what you do have control over—and how to use it to your advantage, even in the midst of stress and uncertainty.
Understanding the Spheres of Control
A helpful framework for managing stress and uncertainty is the concept of Spheres of Control (also called Circles of Influence). This model divides what we encounter into three categories:
Things You Can Control – Your habits, mindset, responses, boundaries, and daily actions.
Things You Can Influence – Your relationships, workplace culture, and external factors that you can impact but not directly control.
Things You Cannot Control – Other people’s actions, global events, unexpected challenges, and external circumstances.
Why This Matters: Focusing on what’s within your control reduces stress and prevents wasted energy on things you can’t change. Instead of feeling stuck, you gain clarity on where to direct your time and effort.
Tip: When facing a stressful situation, ask yourself: "Is this within my control? If not, how can I shift my energy to what I can change?"
What You DO Have Control Over
1. Your Daily Habits and Routines
Your habits create the foundation for your health, productivity, and overall well-being. Small, consistent actions lead to significant long-term changes.
Practical Strategies:
Morning and Evening Routines: Start and end your day with intention. Even a 5-minute routine—whether it’s stretching, journaling, or drinking a glass of water—can help you feel more grounded.
Micro-Habits for Wellness: Incorporate small, manageable habits like a 10-minute walk between meetings, standing up every hour, or swapping one processed snack for a healthier option.
Consistent Sleep Schedule: Aim to wake up and go to bed at the same time daily, even on weekends. Poor sleep magnifies stress and impacts decision-making.
Tip: Instead of overhauling your entire routine, focus on improving just one habit at a time. Consistency beats perfection.
2. How You Speak to Yourself
Your inner dialogue has a profound impact on your mindset, motivation, and confidence. Negative self-talk increases stress, while self-compassion fosters resilience.
Practical Strategies:
Reframe Negative Thoughts: Instead of "I’ll never get through this workload," try "I can take this one step at a time."
Use Encouraging Language: Talk to yourself like you would a close friend. Replace harsh self-criticism with constructive, solution-oriented thoughts.
Daily Affirmations: Simple affirmations like "I am capable" or "I am resilient" can shift your mindset over time.
Tip: Pay attention to the words you use when speaking to yourself. Your brain is always listening.
3. The Movement You Prioritize
Exercise isn’t just about fitness—it’s a powerful tool for stress relief, mental clarity, and energy management. Even if your schedule is packed, movement can be integrated into your day.
Practical Strategies:
Micro-Movement Breaks: Stretch for five minutes, take the stairs, or do a few squats between tasks.
Walking Meetings: Swap a traditional meeting for a walking discussion to get fresh air and boost creativity.
Intentional Exercise: Even 20 minutes of strength training, yoga, or cardio a few times per week makes a difference.
Tip: Shift your mindset from “I have to work out” to “I get to move my body.” Movement is a privilege, not a punishment.
4. The Energy You Bring Into a Room
Your presence affects those around you. While you can’t control others, you can control the energy you bring to interactions.
Practical Strategies:
Pause Before Entering a Room: Take a deep breath, check in with your emotions, and reset if needed.
Practice Active Listening: Show genuine interest in conversations rather than just waiting for your turn to speak.
Be Intentional with Your Reactions: Respond with thoughtfulness rather than reacting impulsively, especially in stressful situations.
Tip: The energy you bring influences the energy you receive. Be mindful of what you put out into the world.
5. The Way You Respond to Challenges
Life is unpredictable, but you have full control over your response to setbacks. Developing a growth-oriented mindset can transform obstacles into opportunities.
Practical Strategies:
Pause Before Reacting: Take a deep breath or count to ten before responding to difficult situations.
Ask "What Can I Learn from This?" Instead of dwelling on frustration, shift to a problem-solving mindset.
Break Down Big Problems: Overwhelm often comes from looking at the entire mountain. Focus on the next small step instead.
Tip: You can’t always control what happens, but you can control how you respond. That’s where your power lies.
6. The Gratitude You Practice
Gratitude isn’t just a feel-good exercise—it rewires your brain to focus on the positive, reducing stress and increasing happiness.
Practical Strategies:
Daily Gratitude Journaling: Write down three things you’re grateful for each day.
Express Appreciation: Tell a coworker, friend, or family member something you appreciate about them.
Reframe Challenges with Gratitude: Instead of “This meeting is stressful,” try “I’m grateful for the opportunity to grow in my career.”
Tip: Gratitude is most powerful when practiced daily, even in small doses.
7. Who You Surround Yourself With
Your environment—including the people around you—shapes your thoughts, behaviors, and well-being.
Practical Strategies:
Evaluate Your Circle: Do your relationships energize or drain you? Prioritize time with those who support and uplift you.
Limit Toxic Interactions: If you can’t avoid certain people, set boundaries and limit emotional investment.
Seek Growth-Minded People: Surround yourself with individuals who inspire and challenge you in a healthy way.
Tip: You don’t have to cut people off completely, but you can choose how much access they have to your energy.
8. The Boundaries You Set
Boundaries protect your time, energy, and well-being. Without them, stress and burnout are inevitable.
Practical Strategies:
Say "No" Without Guilt: Every "yes" to something unimportant is a "no" to something that matters.
Time Block Your Priorities: Set designated work hours, personal time, and breaks to avoid overcommitment.
Communicate Clearly: Let others know your boundaries—whether it’s unplugging after work or not answering emails on weekends.
Tip: Boundaries aren’t selfish; they’re necessary. You can’t pour from an empty cup.
Final Thoughts
You can’t control everything in life, but you can control your habits, thoughts, energy, and boundaries. By focusing on what’s within your power, you reclaim control over your well-being—even in the busiest, most stressful seasons of life.
Start small. Pick one area to focus on today. Over time, these shifts will compound, leading to a healthier, more resilient, and more empowered you.
What’s one thing you can control today that will set you up for success?
Need Help? Setbacks don’t mean you’ve failed. They mean it’s time to recalibrate.
Let’s figure out what’s actually going on—then build a smarter, more sustainable plan forward.
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Article References
The sources cited in the article:
Psychology Today (PT). “Improve your Mental Health: Focus on What You Can Control.” PT - Focus on What You Can Control
Learningloop.io “Circles of Influence. What it Is, How it Works, Examples.” learningloop.io - Circles of Influence
modern works. “The Power of Covey’s Circle of Concern, Influence, and Control.” modernworks - Covey’s Circle of Conern
Positive Psychology (PP). “Understanding the Circles of Influence, Concern, and Control.” PP - Circles of Influence
Forbes. "Cultivating Your Sphere of Influence." Forbes - Cultivating Your Sphere of Influence
